I wrote a blog a few days ago about getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition mailed to me unexpectedly, and the issues this caused me. In this post, I used the word “whore” to describe a mindset I use to defend myself against the women on the pages. Many read the post and the word wasn’t a big deal, but others called or emailed me, letting me know how my use of the word disturbed them. As I look back on the last few days and these conversations, I realize I have underwent an education in this word and the meaning it holds for many. The general tone of those with concerns was that this was a form of hate-speech. No one said it quite this explicitly, but it felt like I had used the N-word in reference to blacks or the F-word in reference to homosexuals. I want to make sure everyone knows I never ever ever ever meant the word whore to come across with any connotation as that. It did. And I apologize. And to be perfectly honest, the definition of that word in my vocabulary has now been summarily redefined to a much harsher and more personal meaning than I had previously used it. With this new definition firmly established, I will no longer use the word, and I removed it from my first post. I will be keeping the post up, as it is an important message that is very close to my heart. I realize the use of the word whore really took away from that message for many readers, so I hope the intent of my message can be re-established for those readers.
I want to thank Cindy, James, Kristina, Kate, Jamie, Jasmin, and Cara for bringing this issue to my attention. I am very grateful to have friends who are brothers and sisters in Christ like you who are willing to lovingly confront me in a Matthew 18:15-17 way. Thank you.
My brother Patrick also emailed me and shared this words with me, that I thought I would share with you. These are things I already agree with and in fact, are the basis for the book for the I wrote. They are the reason I am pure from pornography today, because my mindset toward it was able to change, by the grace of God. I pray your mindset will change as well if you are still in the addictive cycle. For me, there is still allure in the temptation if it’s sitting on my doorstep with no one else around, but the addictive cycle and the pursuit do not have power over me. But it still does over many, and these words of wisdom are a great reminder to us all. From Patrick (who did not give me permission to paste this, but he’s my brother, so he can deal with it :)…
Which of course reminded me of a great video illustration…Enjoy! 🙂
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He is:
Author of Beyond the Battle: A man's guide to his identity in Christ in an oversexualized world
Host of the The Flip Side Podcast
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